Georgina, PNoy & Paris Hilton

So model/actress Georgina Wilson has been criticized for Tweeting that President Noynoy Aquino has better things to do than meet socialite Paris Hilton. Apparently, those celebrity-worshipping half-wits think that the hotel chain heiress who became an instant superstar because of a leaked sex video is sooooooo popular that she is somehow entitled to have the President meet her instead of solving the country’s problems.

I’ve been asking this question for a long time: What does Paris Hilton have that made her a such a huge celebrity? It’s definitely not her acting skills(I actually cheered when her character got impaled in the head with a pipe in a scene in “House Of Wax”). Singing skills? Nah. Even our tone-deaf drunk neighbor can sing “Stars Are Blind” better than her. It’s definitely NOT her cocksucking skills because she needs to work on that too from what I saw in her sex video. The answer: The goddamn media. They will shove their idea of a “celebrity” down people’s throats until they agree with them, no matter how untalented the people they are trying to hype are.

Don’t believe me? Just ask Kris Aquino.

"All those Herpes rumors are so totally not true!"

Appreciate the legends who are still with us

Regardless of all the controversy he was involved in or his downright oddball behavior, Michael Jackson is still a legend & the whole world mourns his recent passing. The guy was such an icon that his albums have topped the charts again after his death, a testament to his musical genius & its impact on people around the world. His accomplishments as an artist was immeasurable & his death also serves as a reminder for us to appreciate the legends who are still living with us today. Sure they may have their own share of controversy, scandals & eccentric behavior but all of those are clearly overshadowed by their great contributions to their respective fields & for that they are worth remembering for a long time.

Michael Jackson has gained immortality. Just don’t expect him to rise from the grave & dance with a gang of zombies anytime soon.

5 Reasons why “Boys Over Flowers” is worse than Swine Flu

There’s a new disease that’s spreading like a plague in the country right now. It mainly affects women & gays & it’s symptoms are tremendous excitement & titillation, excessive swooning, & an uncontrollable urge to get home before 5:30 PM. It’s worse than the AH1N1 Swine Flu pandemic that has already infected hundreds of Filipinos. This “disease” that I’m referring to is called the “Boys Over Flowers Syndrome” or BOFS, named after ABS-CBN’s new weekday afternoon Koreanovela.

Okay, okay, it’s not exactly a disease but apparently everybody’s seem to have caught it like a STD from a cheap prostitute because it’s the hottest Korean TV series(or “Koreanovela”) today. It’s a remake of the original “Meteor Garden” series from Taiwan, which makes me wonder even more why people are still going crazy over BOF like it was the most original & most groundbreaking Asian TV drama series that has ever been made. Oh yeah I forgot, it has cute boys in it.

“Boys Over Flowers” is worse than Swine Flu for the following reasons:

5. It gives the false notion that underprivileged women can bag handsome rich guys

Right. This should be as common as a rich night club patron falling in love & marrying one of the GROs. I’m not saying that it’s impossible for underprivileged girls to marry rich young bachelors, it’s just that it very rarely happens. Besides, most young, good-looking rich guys are either only interested in banging as many chicks as possible, or already have girlfriends who are also filthy rich, or are gay.

4. Recurring themes that have been done to death

Okay let’s see…

– Poor girl meets spoiled rich boy in unusual circumstances: CHECK.

– Spoiled rich boy falls in love with poor girl: CHECK

– Rich boy’s mean, domineering mother/father disapproves of their relationship & does everything to keep them apart: CHECK.

– Rich boy’s parents want him to be married to a pretty rich girl, but they don’t know she’s a two-faced, scheming, manipulative bitch: CHECK.

– Poor girl & rich boy beat all the odds & live happily ever after: CHECK.

Wow, I wonder how many times the aforementioned scenarios have been played out in various Koreanovelas? You can change some of the minor details, but the main themes have always been the same. Not only is the “Rich-boy-falls-in-love-with-poor-girl-and-despite-overwhelming-odds-they-still-end-up-with-each-other-and-live-happily-ever-after” scenario hard to believe, it’s also getting a little old.

3. It’s been recycled over & over again

Boys Over Flowers(or Hana Yori Dango, as it was originally called) started off as a manga in Japan in 1992 & was adapted into TV series by Taiwan, Japan & Korea. Hell, next thing you know there will be a Pakistani or a Somalian version. I mean, how many times do you have to remake, repackage, regurgitate & feed a drama series to the masses before they say “What the fuck?!” & storm your TV station with torches & pitchforks wanting to lynch the producers?

On the other hand, maybe the TV networks have realized the impact of climate change & have decided to go “green” by recycling everything, including old TV shows. If that was the case, then they’re more deserving of a Nobel Prize than Al Gore for being such great environmentalists.

2. You don’t know if your girlfriend or wife fantasizes about one of the male lead stars when you’re having sex

In the heat of a passionate lovemaking session nothing instantly kills a guy’s raging boner than his woman suddenly blurting out someone else’s name, especially if it’s one of the BOF male stars. How would you react if your chick screams “Ji Hoo!!!” as she reaches the big O? Sure it would hurt your ego & masculinity, but you wouldn’t know whether to punch her in the uterus or laugh.

And here’s the Number 1 reason why Boys Over Flowers is worse than Swine Flu…

1. It’s NOT from North Korea

With the local airwaves being flooded with the same old cheesy, generic TV shows from South Korea, wouldn’t it be nice to have a Koreanovela from their nuke-obsessed neighbor that shows us how awesome their dictator Kim Jong Il is & what great joy it is to be under his authoritarian rule? Think about it: There’s great potential for hilarity from a North Korean drama series because propaganda can be funny. It may even be funnier than Bollywood action films.

Boys Over Flowers: Worse than Swine Flu

“Let those without sin pour the first bottle of mineral water”

I was supposed to let the Hayden Kho-ntroversy die a natural death but certain events in the Senate Hearing last Friday compelled me to write something about it again, like some former policeman-turned tabloid reporter pouring a bottle of mineral water over Hayden Kho’s head before the start of the hearing. Real classy.

This reminds me of the verse in John 8:7 where Jesus asked the crowd to throw the first stone at a woman accused of adultery, but apparently the ex-cop/tabloid reporter thinks he’s better than Dr. Kho because he has never used his badge to extort money from anyone nor used his uniform to get free rides on public transportation during his career as an officer of the law.

I’ve said this before & I’ll say it again: Hayden Kho’s sex videos, which made their way to the internet, were supposed to be private. Neither Hayden Kho, his mother, Katrina Halili nor anyone involved wanted those videos to come out & I still DON’T believe that Katrina Halili nor any of the other women were not aware that they were being filmed. Some groups hate Dr. Kho so much because of the controversy that they distrubuted anti-Hayden Kho t-shirts to people present at the hearing. Now we have another allegation which surfaced during the Senate hearing about Katrina Halili introducing Hayden Kho to Ecstasy pills. So where’s their hostility & outrage over that?

Just a reminder to these “holier-than-thou” people who want Hayden Kho crucified: Jesus hates hypocrites.

The Hayden Kho-llection

I love it when Karma comes back to bite the guilty in the ass.

Apparently, that’s what happened to sexy starlet Katrina Halili & actor/model/cosmetic surgeon Dr.Haydon Kho, when a video of them engaging in “bedroom acrobatics” have surfaced, along with other videos of Dr. Kho banging other women. Both were already in serious relationships with other people when the video was made, with Dr.Kho being popularly known as the boyfriend of Dr.Vicky Belo, cosmetic surgeon to the stars & a celebrity in her own right.

The controversy surrounding the leaked sex videos reached fever pitch on Wednesday when Ms. Halili went to the NBI(National Bureau of Investigation) & filed charges against Dr. Kho, blaming him for spreading the sex videos & portraying herself as the victim but the truth is she’s the victim of her own dishonesty & stupidy. I mean, in this day & age of Youtube, Facebook, Rapidshare & countless internet messageboards did she really expect videos which she allowed to be taken of her banging some guy to NOT reach the internet? Now we have Senator Ramon “Bong” Revilla Jr. doing what politicians do best–acting like hypocrites–by calling Hayden Kho a “pervert” & threatening to revoke his license. Wow. I mean, this is coming from a guy whose dad, former Senator Ramon Revilla Sr., was such a notorious philandering horndog during his day that he has allegedly fathered 100 children with different women. At least Hayden Kho wore a condom.

In my opinion they can’t charge Hayden Kho with anything. This controversy was just a case of videos made by consenting adults for private viewing getting leaked on the internet & the reason people want him punished is simply because he’s a stud who can easily get women.

Okay, now that I’m done ranting click the links below to download the Hayden Kho-llection of videos:

Katrina Halili Scandal(.MP4 format, 53.53 MB)

Maricar Reyes Scandal Part 1(.3gp format, 36.76 MB)

Maricar Reyes Scandal Part 2(.3gp format, 39.64 MB)

Brazilian Model Scandal(.3gp format, 13.90 MB)

Oh, and you’re welcome.

Steven Seagal vs. flesh-eating vampires

The idea alone would give any fan of action/martial arts movies a raging boner.

Steven Seagal is undeniably one of the biggest action stars of all time, his movies grossing over $850 million worldwide. He’s known for playing the hard-nosed, do-no-wrong, bone-breaking martial arts cop which criminals had the misfortune of pissing off. He has taken on mobsters, gangbangers & corrupt oil company CEOs in his movies, so whose asses are left which he hasn’t kicked yet? Why, the undead of course!

Ah, but such is my disappointment when I saw “Against The Dark”, a flick where the action hero is pitted against a horde of cannibalistic bloodsuckers. Everyone & their brother knows Mr. Seagal is a real-life 7th-dan Aikido blackbelter but what some people don’t know is he’s also a guitar player, singer-songwriter & recording artist, having released a couple of albums & collaborated with several notable musicians. When I saw him in this movie he reminded me of Robert Smith of The Cure, not because both are musicians, but because both of them have gotten so fat they have to wear trench coats to hide all their embarrassing flab. It really hurt my eyes to see the once indestructible action superhero succumb to his cravings for jelly donuts & Quarter Pounders.

Anyways in the movie Seagal plays Tao, the leader the Hunters, a group composed of ex-military personnel who…you guessed it…hunt & kill vampires in a post-apocalyptic world. His character is kinda like Blade, except that he’s white & has a ponytail. Oh, & fatter too. His group searches an abandoned hospital infested by vampires in the hopes of finding survivors before the place gets bombed by the military.

Seagal fighting hordes of bloodthirsty vampires was a great concept but this movie fails miserably to exploit the potential & deliver the goods. I mean, where’s the scene where he kills vampires with his bare hands using his deadly martial arts moves, or his final showdown with the Master Vampire? The movie would’ve been 43462345215 times more epic if it had a bigger budget & a great director. It may have also revived Seagal’s movie career, which has been in the gutter for years. But alas, the movie was as big of a waste as the US stimulus plan.

The original 80’s Transformers cartoons vs. the new series

There’s no denying that I’m a big Transformers fan. The original Transformers cartoon series was an integral part of a lot of people’s childhood memories including mine, but there’s a new series called “Transformers Animated” & compared to the original, it’s crap. Now I don’t want to sound like a douche whining about a cartoon, but there’s a point in time when you have to voice your disgust regarding certain issues, especially issues that involve your childhood.

The gayed-up Optimus Prime from "Transformers Animated"

Now I’ve never had a problem with the subsequent follow-ups to the original Transformers series(Beast Wars, Armada, etc.) but Transformers Animated just makes me want to stab somebody in the eye with a blunt object. That’s how bad I think it is & with good reasons.

First, the characters look too “cartoony”. It’s obviously to appeal to a much younger audience but do you really need to have a fat Autobot(Bulkhead)? I mean, I didn’t know machines can also suffer from obesity. My other complaint is the storyline. The storyline of the original series was better because not only did the Autobots have to deal with the Decepticons trying destroy them, enslave humanity & drain the Earth’s resources & convert it into Energon Cubes they also had to deal with humans who fear them & want to turn them into scrap metal, unlike in Transformers Animated where robots & humans peacefully coexist in the future & the Autobots are earth’s defenders against the Decepticons & wacko super-powered human villains. Woopty-doo.

The awesome Optimus Prime that we've known & loved

As much as I hate the new Transformers series, the toy line is awesome. More detailed, has more degrees of movement & generally much better than the old Transformers toys. I bought my kid the Optimus Prime/Megatron set(with a DVD included) last Christmas & he loved it, but deep inside I was thinking “Goddammit, I want one too!” But going back to Transformers Animanted, I’ll take the Gobots anytime over that shit.

Gold Optimus Prime

What’s the next best thing to having a harem of beautiful women all eager to fulfill your most carnal fantasies every night? An ultra-rare, fully transformable Optimus Prime figure made entirely of gold, of course! While surfing the web for Nazi transvestite midget amputee porn, I stumbled upon this cool website which some guy put up to make old-school Transformer fans like me green with envy after he acquired the rare toy from another collector. What a lucky bastard. Just click the thumbnails below for the full image:

Maureen Larrazabal

If I have not made my attraction to voluptous ladies clear on my previous blog entries, then let this scorcher drive my point into your thick skulls. Incoming!

Click the thumbnails below for the full images:
Some magazine scans:

Some candid shots:

Some Hi-Res scans with her sister Raine:

Hot Female Philippine TV Newscasters

Pretty news anchors make you ignore the bad news they’re reporting, even if it’s about a million people dying from a natural disaster on some third world country or terrorists detonating a nuclear weapon on a major US city. Here’s my list of Philippine TV news anchors who are pure eye candy, in no particular order:

 
Rhea Santos

She has a smile that would turn men’s knees into jelly. A lethal combination of beauty & brains, she graduated Magna Cum Laude at De La Salle University. She began her career in TV as one of the co-hosts on GMA-7’s “Unang Hirit” & now hosts “Women’s Desk” & is also a newscaster on “News on Q” on GMA’s QTV.

Pia Arcangel-Halili

Her maiden name fits her perfectly because she has the face of an angel. An AB Communications Batch ’00 graduate from Ateneo & a former UAAP courtside reporter, she now hosts QTV’s “Balitanghali” news program & hosts “Art Angel”, an art show on GMA 7. By the way, did I mention that pretty girls with short hair are one of my weaknesses?

Gretchen Fullido

Upon seeing this chick the first thing that guys would think is “Whoa!”. A former NCAA courtside reporter & now a sporscaster/weather girl on ABS-CBN’s ANC channel, she has definately come a long way thanks to her exceptional reporting skills(well, having a nice big pair of titties doesn’t hurt either).

Marieton Pacheco

This petite girl with a killer smile is a graduate of De La Salle University & hosts “Mornings@ANC” on ABS-CBN’s ANC channel.

Vicky Morales

Host of GMA’s “Wish Ko Lang” & co-anchors the late-night newscast “Saksi”. On March 19, 2008, she gave birth to twin boys with husband King Reyno, a businessman.

Ria Tanjuatco-Trillo

She’s a news anchor of Studio 23’s “News Central”. Ria had her beginnings in television as a roving reporter covering the 60th UAAP Basketball Games in 1997. She covered various basketball leagues since, including the “Nike 3 on 3” Basketball tournament, the PBL, the NCAA, the PBA, and the MBA. She even anchored the 1998 WNBA season. Ria’s hosting stints include shows like “Sports Central”, “Breakfast”, and Cinema One’s “Access”.

Honorable mentions:
Candice Giron
Connie Sison